{"id":1319,"date":"2026-06-26T16:44:59","date_gmt":"2026-06-26T16:44:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/?page_id=1319"},"modified":"2026-06-26T17:03:06","modified_gmt":"2026-06-26T17:03:06","slug":"pmpreview","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/pmpreview\/","title":{"rendered":"Excerpt: Princess Machine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Excerpt from chapter 3<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My shoulder aches more and more each night when I take my prosthetic off. It\u2019s gotten to the point where I tear up when I manage to unfasten the arm. It\u2019s too small, and has been for years, but it still works, so I can\u2019t justify replacing it.
If only I could explain all of that to the six judges staring at me with varying degrees of disgust.

I feel like I\u2019m a crusty old vase on a podium and they\u2019re about to start bidding, except none of them is sure if I fit their decor. Cameras are hovering around me at a polite distance and the audition room itself is barren and clearly a re-purposed conference hall.

The blond woman has just ordered me to take off the top of my grimy work overalls so she can see the extent of the damage and how busted the rest of my body is as a result. There\u2019s a ketchup stain on the hem of my tank top that I hope no one has noticed.

\u201cDo you have scarring on your chest area?\u201d

\u201cYes.\u201d

\u201cIs it extensive?\u201d

\u201c\u2026 Yes? Though my cleavage is fine, if that\u2019s important. The scars start on the outside of my boob.\u201d

The man with a short black beard snorts and quickly covers his mouth, \u201cHow were you hurt, again? What\u2019s the story behind the injury?\u201d

He\u2019s sitting at the left end of the long table and looks marginally more intrigued than the others. I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019s good or bad.

\u201cThere was a house fire,\u201d I say, my voice stilted and timid like I\u2019m giving a presentation about climate change in primary school. \u201cI tried to save our cat, and the floor above collapsed on top of me.\u201d

The judge in the middle, a forty-something brunette woman, gasps sympathetically.

\u201cWhat a hero,\u201d says an older gentleman without looking up from what I assume are my records.

He doesn\u2019t sound very genuine.

\u201cThe accident caused some internal damage as well, correct?\u201d says the bearded man.

Does he look vaguely familiar?

\u201cYeah, my heart and left lung are also synthetic, if that\u2019s what you\u2019re wondering.\u201d

\u201cA synthetic heart, you say \u2026\u201d

A wave of hums passes between the judges as a couple of them write down notes.

\u201cKatrien, tell us why you would make a good princess and queen,\u201d the blonde woman says blandly.

It\u2019s like she already knows my answer won\u2019t be enough, like she\u2019s just going through the contractually obligated motions.

But this isn\u2019t real. I\u2019m going through the motions, too.

I shrug.

\u201cYou don\u2019t know?\u201d she says smugly.

\u201cI guess not. It\u2019s not like us blue collars\u201d \u2014 I flap my overall sleeves for emphasis \u2014 \u201cgo to princess school.\u201d

\u201cWhat do you think makes for a good queen?\u201d says Beardy, who I\u2019m now pretty sure is actually Beau Thorpe. Royal spokesguy or whatever. \u201cYou must have some ideas. Surely you\u2019ve seen our dear queen, she\u2019s an excellent example.\u201d

\u201cUh. I guess?\u201d

\u201cYou guess<\/em>?\u201d

Oh, good job, Kit. Now you\u2019ll get executed for treason.<\/em>

I scratch my head, \u201cI mean, I haven\u2019t seen any other queens to compare her to. But, like, I\u2019m not like her, to answer your question. Obviously. I mean, look at me, right?\u201d

I\u2019m highly aware that I sound like I have two entire braincells and one of them just left for a bathroom break. My face feels warm and it\u2019s hard to breathe, and the judges are watching me with such contempt I\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019ll haunt my nightmares for at least fifty years. Only Beau looks like he\u2019s having a good time.

He turns to the other judges, \u201cI kind of like her.\u201d

They\u2019re all too polite to say anything but not polite enough to hide their confusion at that statement.

\u201cLook at her.\u201d Beau gestures, \u201cPeople love an underdog. She didn\u2019t even practice her introduction.\u201d

\u201cI \u2026 was supposed to prepare an introduction?\u201d

He gestures harder as if to say, \u201cSee?\u201d

Suddenly the blond woman\u2019s gaze shifts from superiority to interest and she leans over to the older man to whisper something. When she\u2019s done, the man writes something on his pad, and the woman clears her throat and looks back at me again.

\u201cYou\u2019ll forgive me if I say that your presentation is rather, shall we say, improvised \u2026\u201d

\u201cSure.\u201d

\u201c\u2026 haphazard, if you will \u2026\u201d

\u201cUh-huh.\u201d

\u201c\u2026 and it makes me wonder why you decided to submit a form in the first place?\u201d

\u201cI<\/em> didn\u2019t. My mother bought it and I filled it out just to have it done. It said no refunds and all, and it\u2019s not like we\u2019re swimming in cash. Might as well do it so it\u2019s not a complete waste of money.\u201d

The judges blink, half of them with their mouths flapping open. I did essentially just tell them their entire reason for being here is a sham and a waste of not just money, but my time as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u201cIs it safe to say that you aren\u2019t actually interested in the prince, then?\u201d says the brunette lady.

I shrug again, \u201cI mean, he\u2019s cute. Good face and all. Wouldn\u2019t kick him out of \u2026 my house.\u201d

Beau covers his snort with a loud cough. I realize I\u2019m definitely digging my own grave and enter damage control mode.

\u201cI mean, the baggage he\u2019d bring to a relationship is the biggest issue, right? The cameras, the NDAs, the political power. It\u2019s intimidating, especially the last part. What if you break up with him and cause a civil war or something?\u201d

\u201cYou don\u2019t \u2018break up\u2019 if you\u2019re the queen,\u201d says the older gentleman dryly.

I nod, \u201cWell, yeah. Because of the civil war.\u201d

Beau turns in his chair to bend over and we all wait for him to stop giggling quietly. Once he manages to collect himself, he sits back up and clears his throat.

\u201cYou all know how I feel. The arm and synthetic heart are fantastic. She\u2019s practically a shoo-in based on the storytelling potential alone.\u201d

\u201cI\u2019m afraid we\u2019re all out of time, Ms. Sullivan,\u201d says the blond woman sharply, ignoring her co-worker\u2019s comment. \u201cThank you for coming, and good luck.\u201d

\u201cNice meeting y\u2019all,\u201d I lie and hurry out of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


I\u2019ve never been in this hotel before, so it\u2019s hard to remember my way back. The place is pretty fancy, the fanciest in Duncross, and currently stuffed with girls my age all here for their auditions. The vast majority of them look fairly well-groomed despite living in the poorest province. Few, if any, decided to follow my example and show up looking like they\u2019ve just rolled out of a landfill for dad clothes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


I find my way back to the lobby, where Mom\u2019s waiting for me with a handful of other people who came for moral support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


When she sees me, she bounces over with glittering eyes, clapping her hands.

\u201cHow\u2019d it go?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u201cDunno. Not great, I don\u2019t think.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n


I suddenly feel bad for not putting any actual effort in. I know Mom shouldn\u2019t have bought the ticket in the first place, but seeing her disappointed face will hurt. I mean, I wouldn\u2019t have gotten in anyway, but if I\u2019d made a genuine attempt the defeat wouldn\u2019t sting as bad for her, right?

Except she doesn\u2019t seem disappointed at all. Instead, she just laughs and slaps me on the arm.

\u201cYou\u2019re just saying that! How could they say no to such a pretty, intelligent girl like you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n


I roll my eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u201cI\u2019m sure they\u2019ll find a way.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Excerpt from chapter 3 My shoulder aches more and more each night when I take my prosthetic off. It\u2019s gotten to the point where I tear up when I manage to unfasten the arm. It\u2019s too small, and has been for years, but it still works, so I can\u2019t justify replacing it.If only I could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"excerpts","meta":{"dsgo_overlay_header":false,"dsgo_overlay_header_text_color":"","dsgo_overlay_skip_top_bar":false,"_designsetgo_exclude_llms":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1319","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1319"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1320,"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1319\/revisions\/1320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effiegreen.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}